RAPE CULTURE: “SHE ASKED FOR IT?”

Dear rapist!

Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars, Collecting your jar of hearts AND TEARING LIVES APART . You are gonna catch a cold, From the ice inside your soul…

Christina Perri.

RAPE, the most intimate of crimes!

Unfortunately, we live in an environment in which rape is prevalent, where this act is normalized and excused. We live in a society that teaches kids “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape.” We have justified the act of rape and we blame the victims with disgraceful statements like “SHE/HE ASKED FOR IT!! ” This statement is ridiculous and it’s messed up in all the levels!

I was once told that I couldn’t wear an outfit because it was “too provocative” and that “I would be asking for rape” With ideas like this being spoken/thought, I think it’s time to have……. THE TALK. This huge “clothes cause rape” elephant has been in the living room of society for far too long; and I know it’s an extremely uncomfortable subject, but we need to discuss it. Our society has a tendency to blame the victim because she dressed a certain way. We live in a “she is asking for it” culture. It’s very wicked, wrong, evil, misguided, pickle minded, messed up(name them) to pin rape on the victim, no matter what she wore. Dressing in a sexy or a short dress is NOT consent!

I mean, it’s troubling enough that such a small proportion of reported rapes make it to court, worse still, that so few victims come forward in the first place, and nooow, we just have to make it worse by blaming the victims instead of the perpetrators… WOOW!

Let’s take this for instance, If 6 men had beaten up an 11 year old girl, the only question anyone would be asking is how quickly can we lock the Shimo la tewa prison door and throw away the keys into the Indian Ocean… BUT IF the 6 men were to rape the 11 year old, then apparently, we have to ask several questions like: “was she asking for it? ” “Was she acting in a provocative manner? ” Really????? Newsflash: she’s a child and as such cannot ask for “IT” EVER!!

It’s sad that stealing money/chicken is considered a more serious crime than stealing a child’s innocence? And you know, it’s just more that, because if you steal a girls innocence, you’ve stolen her future and killed who she would have been one day…

In a slam poem, performed by Anna Binkovitz, she calls out the rape culture and the tendency to blame rape victims. She says,,

STOP ASKING PEOPLE’S CLOTHING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, AND START ASKING THE PEOPLE. “

We as a society can make a change, we could be more sympathetic, more caring. Rape is not a joke, it’s worse than death because the victims have to deal with the pain and humiliation for as long as they are alive. We could help them out, we could try to understand, try not to blame them because its not their fault. Hold a sister’s hand today, console her and trust me, you never know the scars a single tender touch can heal. Touch a life today!

Random thoughts.. ❤

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31 thoughts on “RAPE CULTURE: “SHE ASKED FOR IT?””

  1. It’s very disheartening when the society classifies certain heinous crimes as contributory self- blame, such as the lamebellied label of “she dressed in a provocative, self- evident loose manner.” Who said the size of dress automatically gives consent at first sight, that when a woman is raped, she has on her a dress that looks very delineated for a sex object with no dignity, no consent required, and no value to her humanity and womanhood?

    A crime such as rape should never be courted as a payback for “scanty” or “provocative” dressing. It must be singularly and decidedly be punished. No defence should be available for the culpable perpetrator. We need to uphold, protect and dearly prize victims of rape. They live with inexplicable trauma mostly for rhe rest of their lives.

    You may not be a victim, but you can speak against it. Let sanity, sobreity, dignity and respect restrain the wicked if reason and humanity doesn’t afford a better conviction.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Rape is theft of one’s consent.
    Why don’t we hear the cops say, ‘He was carrying a very expensive phone… it’s like he wanted it to be stolen’ … but it is so easy for people to conclude that because of your dressing you asked to be raped! We applaud you for starting this conversation Love.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Or ‘he was driving a luxury car, that’s why it was stolen. ‘….. It’s about time we talked about this. Thank you for taking your time. Highly appreciated.. ❤

      Like

  3. Found your post interesting to read. I cant wait to see your post soon. Good Luck for the upcoming update.This article is really very interesting and effective…keep it up girl!!

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  4. You nailed it! A dress code cannot be taken as a yes to sexual assault as rape is defined. Rape is an “assault”, which ever way we look at it. Thanks for putting rape in this perspective.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you for sharing!… that clothing causes rape is another attempt by the rapist to put blame onto someone else, to appear innocent… I, along with many others, have seen females naked and wearing different types of clothing and haven’t rape anyone!!…

    “As you think, so shall you be.” Wayne W. Dyer

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  6. Brave you. That the way a woman dresses, walks or holds her head should be an excuse for rape is the ultimate insult.
    The likely sad reasons for rape are unresolved resentments. Often the attacker’s own privacy was invaded, be it by an over-controlling state, parent or actual abuse. When early trauma cannot be acknowledged, or has gone unconscious, a rapist refuses responsibility and the law must (should) do its job.
    But blame on all sides offers only temporary relief from facing some deeply rotten narratives in our various cultures.
    As I said, brave you, to speak up.

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  7. Hey you… This is the post you helped me on. Tonite I got disowned. I tried to share a video about men standing up for women. Men taking responsibility among each other, but it backfired. My sister in law and my mother backed the men.
    I was raped as a child…by a family “friend” and they all covered it up and now I am the “trouble maker” and even tho I helped care provide for my elders… I am the one getting cast out.
    I am unsure how to navigate this world right now…
    But your voice let me know that rape is not ok and not my fault…
    and I thank you for being the voice of reason when it all seems dark.

    Like

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