Is the whole ‘your maternal instinct will kick in one day’ thing real?

I ask this as a 21 year old female who absolutely does not want children. Not now, not ever. Its not just that Im afraid of babies and quitely hate it when people try to hand me their little babies to hold.I honestly never know what to do with babies and I’m always very awkward around them. By the way I’m kind of repulsed by the idea of something growing inside me, I don’t know why.

When I imagine my future, I never see myself with children or grandchildren,maybe just a husband.Every time I say this to people all they do is give me weird looks and say ‘wait until your maternal instincts kick in. ‘ and also ask “who will take care of you when you are old? “ Everyone tries to make me feel as if there is something wrong with me because I do not want to have kids. Its also seen as something selfish but I see it as being responsible. See, having children is a huge commitment and if you don’t feel you want them, you’re a better person for not having them.

Just today, I asked a very close friend of mine (hey Angie..) if she would like to have babies in the future and her anseer was an undisputed yes. Then I asked her why and she tells me she only wants to have babies because people have babies and it’s what is supposed to happen. Wow, I laughed hard, we both did. There is nothing wrong with her answer, I mean, isnt that why most people want to have babies,so they can multiply and fill the world? Come on, isnt the world full yet? Im sorry but I think that is kind of twisted.

Its not bad to want babies, its a really nice thing. Just let your reason for wanting one be more than just the need to fill the world.

Some people will just never want kids though, its not a big deal. I feel really privileged to be living somewhere where motherhood is a choice and not just the default.

what are your views on this baby issue.Lets share in the comment section.

Randomthoughts ❀


  1. There are many reasons to have a baby, some right and some wrong. The decision must be your own and for the right reasons, not because of guilt, marketing or other pressures. We resisted for 9 years before having our kids. We were never having children, in our minds. Our babies are now 32 and 29, each of them telling us they will never have babies. Their right, their choice, their decision, but we shall see what time brings. We will never ask or bring any pressure. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For the longest time I was anti-babies of my own… but I was still very maternal around other kids. And honestly it took me getting pregnant before it fully kicked in for me. Like the second I saw those lines the switch flipped… and I mean sometimes it just doesn’t happen for ladies and that’s okay too. And I totally agree that if it hasn’t switched inside you yet, don’t just blindly go into procreating.

    I will say however I never knew a love like that of a child and it’s amazing. And I hope one day you can experience it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I never wanted children but eventually had two. I’m still not a “baby” person or a “child” person. I loved them dearly and still do, but I like them better as adults lol Not one thing is wrong with you. If you ever have a child, your love kicks in. I don’t know if that is the maternal thing or not. If you have a big heart, you will always love other people, but you don’t have to be child-centric to love a child.

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  4. Never worry about what other people think. They only know to judge others, while their own lives lay in a mess.

    This can be very hurtful to people who are literally trying to conceive, they want to, but they can’t, unfortunately. People asking or judging them about not having a baby yet doesn’t make things easier for them.

    Having a baby or not is your choice. No one has the right to judge you on it, and no one has the right to ask when you planning to have one.


  5. This is from a 64 years old woman, who never wanted children and never got any … of her own. I “inherited” two boys with my second husband from his first marriage, but they were 6 and 10 years old, when I came into the picture. I didn’t feel the need to carry other people’s babies around either (they think that it is a kind of honour), but I did babysit kids of friends when they needed it. So I don’t hate children, but I don’t love children, just because they are children, some I like, some I don’t like, it depends on the child, just like with other people.
    I never had the “mother instinct” thing, but I know women who did. It has to do with hormons that tell a woman that she has to get pregnant RIGHT NOW, and makes her crazy if she doesn’t. That never happened to me. I didn’t want children, because I didn’t want the responsibility. As far as the argument of selfishness is concerned, how unselfish is “who is going to take care of you when you are old”? πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, I love your story. So much. I have never understood why people love guilt-tripping those who have no desire to get babies. It’s wrong.
      Thank you for sharing your story Stella! Sending too much love your way right now. ❀❀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Heeeeeeeey 😊😊😊😊, I want kids because I have so much unconditional love to shareπŸ˜„. Actually I want like a dozen, a minimum of 5. Kids are so adorable and genuine. I have a baby sister and I treat her like my own kid because she makes me get excited on the thought of have my own❀️. It’s okay not to want kids, just know I’ll call you over as an auntie to my kids☺️☺️, I loooove this platform lemme see more of your thoughts 😊😊😊

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Aaaaawww that is so sweet. Now that’s a great reason to have babies, and Oooh, I make a great Auntie BTW.. (oh wait, I’m not so sure about that though.I don’t even think kids love me πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™†)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think you are very good at listening to your own heart and mind. And you’re only 21, so it’s okay not to want babies yet… and if that never changes for you, there’s nothing wrong with you. People who think if they have children there will be someone to take care of them in their old age, might be wrong about that. That’s not a given.
    I am an auntie like you tho. I didn’t want kids when I was younger either and there was a tiny window of pangs later in my life where I considered having them, but they weren’t banging loud enough to take on that huge responsibility of creating another human. I don’t regret not having them. I know it was the right choice for me.
    I have taught kids at all different ages and I was a nanny for a while and I worked with a foster kid… and I love kids. Life is better because of them, but I don’t have to be the one breeding them to enjoy them.
    I appreciate the candor of your blog. Thanks for the forum!
    Keep following your heart!

    Liked by 1 person

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