Marriage is scary! Staying in marriage is an extreme sport nowadays. This institution is just not working anymore. If married couples are not cheating on their better half,they are constantly fighting and if not that,they are literally killing each other or driving each other to suicide. The number of people committing suicide because of marital problems has increased overwhelmingly. For the past few days, I’ve read stories of two women who decided to take their own lives because their spouses were cheating on them with other people. It’s really sad.
I’m always asking myself who we should blame,is it the Cheating man or the clandestine,, the cheating wife or the “ben 10?” I say blame them all! Well,unless the third party had absolutely no idea that they were dealing with a married man or woman.
There are married men/women out here who go around masquerading like bachelors and bachelorates respectively with the intent to hit on or win over other people for their own selfish reasons. They are so good at hiding their marital status ,so goood that its extremely hard to notice… I mean I should know this because I’ve fallen for such a guy before. Now before you all go “Judge Judy” on me,this is what happened.
There is this one time I met some guy in a shopping mall,lets call him J. He was in his mid thirties,and Ofcourse he didnt have a wedding ring on,or so I thought. He did everything right,well at least for the first few months. He would call like five times a day, pick me up for breakfast then drop me to school on time. He never cancelled plans on me and for a moment there I thought I had found the one. I even told my friends about but one of them was really curious about Js marital status. She didnt understand how a thirty six year old man with a well paying job was still single. She did get into my head and it disturbed me a lot so I decided to bring it up directly with him over lunch. I asked him if he was married . The answer he gave me was pretty satisfying.He was like he had not been in a hurry to get married because he had been looking for the right girl. He even said that i might actually be “the one” and to prove that he was single ,he took me to his apartment just so I can see he was a bachelor. It was a fully furnished apartment and to be honest,there was no sign of a woman in that house. Just a few pictures of himself on the wall,and some paintings. He insisted I stay over for like three days so I was totally sure that he was a bachelor and no woman would come to claim him.
I was totally convinced until the day I got “the phone call” You know which one…from the wife. I still remember all the insults that were hurled at me. I was so heartbroken especially when she sent me their wedding photos ,and a photo of their son. This is when it dawned on me. All the red flags I had seen but ignored. Like how we would only hang out on weekdays and not weekends,,,and how every time We’d spend a night together, I’d wake up in the middle of the night just to find him gone. Every time I asked him where he went that early, he always said he had to go early to work but seriously though,who goes to work at 1 am? Signs had been right in front of me but I had been too blind to see. I’m sure you are wondering about the house we always went to,well it turns out that this guy had rented that house specifically for his affairs. That is where he took all his side pieces. And ooh,it’s not work he always rushed to at midnight but to his family.Mind blowing, right? I confronted him with all these and these guy still had the audacity to deny everything.
Anyway, I’m not saying that all girls who end up up having affairs are always in the dark as to his marital status. I personally know of girls with strange fetishes and weird daddy issues whose main goal in life is to date/lure/trap married men. It is a sport to them,they love the thrill and the adrenaline rush of their being a possibility of them getting caught. All this at the expense of destroying someone’s family.
With all that said though, the bigger question will always be why a man or woman in a committed relationship as sacred as marriage would just decide to betray their partner by cheating. If things are not working,why not separate/divorce, better yet,why not opt for an open marriage. I’d love to read your views on this issue.