simplytrizah

HAPPILY NEVER AFTER?

Hallo my lovely readers, Before we get into today’s topic,allow me to pass a message to someone,or to some people,just in case it’s a cavern of witches.

SOO,WHOEVER DID VOODOO ON MY LOVE LIFE CAN CHILL NOW.I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON!!

There,,we can now go on. When most people say their love life sucks,they say it with a disappointed or self deprecating tone. Consider my tone matter-of-fact. It is what it is;my love life is a hot mess.

As a little girl, i loved watching animated fairy tales like Cinderella and Rapunzel. I mean,who didn’t? Cinderella was my favourite,especially the part where Prince charming brings Cinderella her glass slipper and turns her into a princess, then the white wedding at the end signaling that peak happiness has now been reached,the oh-so-sought-after happily ever after. I grew up believing that love is ‘a prince charming coming in one day to swoop me off my feet .’

For some reason, the search for “prince charming” started very young for me personally. Even at age 13-14 ,I believed that I would find that man that i was going to marry,and boy was i determined. I even made plans you know. We would tour the world together,especially France and wed take a picture at the Eiffel tower(seriously, ain’t even playing with this Eiffel thing). Anyway, I went through several relationships,starting at age 13 and going until now and i have learned an endless amount of things from them. Above all,I have learned that the “prince charming” I have dreamt about my whole life will never come.

I have been cheated and walked out on and ooh, I have also been the heartbreaker and the nightmare girlfriend. I’ve come into terms with the fact that our lives are not a movie or a perfect love story. I have realized that I will not meet a man without flaws,and one who kisses the ground i walk on. I really used to think that happily ever after was a thing, BUT now i know it only happens in fairy tales. I BADLY WANT TO BELIEVE in soulmates, true love and forever but i don’t because everyday the world makes me see that those things MAY not be real.

Let me make one thing clear though. Love and dating may not be exactly what i had dreamed of as a little girl,I may not find Prince charming or the Knight in shining armour, BUT , the Eiffel thing is so happening.

Do you believe in soulmates, fairy tales and happy endings? Let us share in the comments…

Randomthoughts❤

39 comments

  1. One thing I know for sure, frogs don’t turn into princes. Remember -Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want, doesn’t mean they are not loving you with all they have. It’s up to you to decide if that works for you. Enjoy Paris.

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    • You are very right Lindi,frogs certainly don’t turn into Princes…lol….Can’t wait to tour France..Thanks for taking your time.._❤

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  2. I believe in soulmates, but they are still two individuals with a different history, man and woman. So even such a relationship has to be worked on constantly. It is up to the individual person to decide if that relationship is what one wants or not. But at a certain point, a relationship needs full commitment, not ladidah let’s wait and see. But it only works with full and voluntary commitment from both sides. If you have that, Bob’s your uncle, or the world is your oyster … 😉 … and nothing else matters …

    Until then enjoy Paris and other places on your own. That can also be a great experience! I hope you have a splendid time! Paris is wonderful!

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    • You are very right Stella. Most people think that a soulmate is a perfect being and the relationship works automatically with no effort but it doesn’t. It needs work….
      I can’t wait to tour France,especially Paris….I can’t wait! ….thanks for taking your time dear.

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  3. One has to be very lucky to get a man loving you the way you want. One has to make lots of compromises in real life. I believe in soulmates and love, otherwise how to carry on. Dreams come true.

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  5. You are young and honestly beautiful. That carries weight. I don’t mean superficial. Every stupid relationship that happens before the right one for you, will cease to exist. Stepping stones are cool in and of themselves, but don’t credit them for your own foot steps. You know what is right for you. You will gravitate toward that and find it. Because you determine your own self and destiny. REAL Men will be attracted to that. Not to degrade any man or boy… but just know that you keep steady and they will all follow. No matter what they act like. They will behave. Set the order lady. You got this.

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    • Actually, I owe you much thanks. I needed to hear your sound voice about some “topics” we have in common and your compassion and strength and truth kicked my ass. I mean that in a good way. I needed to recognize some wounds and do some healing. I value your blog very much.
      And YOU got this. Always know you Got this. You are the pace. Set the pace.

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    • 🙂 me too. I mean I am humbled by you. You were the right voice I needed to hear at a very crucial time. So no doubts. Be you. And explore the world and tell it what’s what. I trust you. You ring true in an impossible time after a lot of impossibilities you brought me light. You recognize something I need to remember… I don’t know if that makes sense. I don’t know how to explain that. But It’s like you prevent the erosion of my soul… I am so glad I encountered your voice (your blog). Thanks for the new learning and the refresher course both.
      xoxo,
      kj

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    • Anytime Katherine. I am glad i was the voice of reason at some point. I hope it really helped. I hope you feel better now. Lots of love❤

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    • I wanna ask for advice about something heavy…
      But I don’t feel it’s appropriate somehow.
      Yes. You helped. You grounded me. You are a life line. Not to put pressure on you to be anyone other than who you are. I know I am new to your blog. There is no obligation to “perform” so to speak.
      But when I needed validation on earth… when I needed to hear reason… When I needed sisterhood, you were the first and most important light on the map. And then I could navigate again.
      You are very important as a writer and as a woman and as a black woman and as a healer… because your honesty and reason was healthy. People need to hear you. For their own good. You are goodness. I don’t mean to be all gushy and on and on… I apologize. Just that there was a day when it was you that made me say yes. You were tuned in and it was real. In the face of so much B.S. you came thru for me without even knowing me. Because you were coming thru for you… not selfishly… but rather honestly… maybe more honest than I have been… I still dunno how to explain this…
      I just want you to know you are brave and beautiful and wise. I just wanna recognize you. And say thank you. Maybe you saved my life. I mean… you helped me save my own. You wrote something powerful and real and when I went in search for healing… it was you when I needed it. I’m not holding you to anything. I just want you to know… you deserve the respect. No matter what relationship you are speaking about… cherish your heart. Follow your heart. Follow your gut. Keep being gutsy. Thanks for your replies. Thanks for the life line.
      kj

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    • THANKYOU SO MUCH… all I’ve ever wanted to do is touch lives dear. Only God knows how this makes me feel right now. I am veeeeeeery humbled that i touched your life with my writings. You can ask me anything you want,,don’t shy away. I am here for you. Lots of love❤❤

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    • I think I gotta say goodbye.
      Much peace and love to you and best wishes.
      I’m gonna take my blogs down now. But it was good to encounter your voice on the path or in the ether… or whatever.
      Thanks for being so kind. It was hopeful to hear you.
      xoxo,
      kj

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  6. I believe in the fairy tales we create in our life in making it real. Paris is real and a lot closer to reach than a prince with all the attributes, that happens only to social climbers. However, those who can climb in society to go very far must have dreamt a plan and execute it, so yes, I would say dreams do happen.

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  7. This is a juncture where you realize that a worm-eye view of the world is filled with overrated perspectives as against the bird’s-eye view where the truth hits you like a hurricane.
    Matters of love, life and fairness is as vague as ever. Different experiences, views and perceptions leave us with a cocktail of believes and judgments on the subject matter. So, there is no holy book of relationships to guide our love life. Its a game of chance, a bid of luck. It plays out fine for some, or not for others. Life and Love throw themselves at you and you absorb or deflect. That being Human in a world of ceaseless uncertainties.

    Nice write up

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  9. Hi there, someone once said to me, do you expect prince charming to come knocking at your door, meaning that I should get out more and my prince charming would turn up. Well it did happen y my getting out more, but I know I was extremely lucky. He’s my current hubby, my best friend and my soul mate. We’ve been together for over 30 years. But there have to be compromises for the long game, and you have to allow each other to grow, plus work at the relationship when needed. Not all plain sailing as they say. As someone else has said here, in the meantime live your life to the fullest and always be yourself and enjoy being you – that is so important. Only someone who accepts you for who you are may just turn out to be your prince. Have a great time in Paris!

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    • Hallo Lynne. Woow,30 years is a looong time. I am so happy for you! I probably should get out there and spread my wings… THANK YOU so much for taking your precious time ❤

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  12. I just got an email now as I was taking my blog down… so maybe I won’t take my blogs down…??? I dunno what to do…
    I guess the advice I’m looking for is how to reckon with being raped and ending up not a “Polite” woman about it… I mean… I am not being validated by #metoo people or supported like other women, so when I stand up for myself, it’s a clobbering like I’m asking for it. I keep getting clobbered. So I work on other things and some success happens… but it all comes up again.. the past keeps coming back… and everyone says ignore it. “Get help” but what help? What help is there? I was told to leave everyone I knew because they were all bad for me… How easy is it to leave everyone? And then I tried to love them and understand them… and well… the original advice was right… I was supposed to leave ’em…
    You don’t have to give me advice.
    I realize this is waaaaaaaay too much.
    But… thank god you posted about rape culture and consent when you did. I needed to hear someone saying I had a chance at all!
    I will not bother you again.
    But I will appreciate your blog always.

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    • Ooh Katherine. , I am so sorry. I totally understand you because the rape article was a personal one. I’ve been there too. I’ve felt exactly what you are feeling and I know its terrible….. I can’t say am totally over it yet but one thing I can tell you is that it gets better ,trust me it does. I never thought it was possible to forgive someone who wasn’t even sorry,,but I did and that is what got me through that period of my life huny. I know its hard and difficult dear,, but trust me ,one step you won’t regret taking is forgiving that monster even though he isn’t sorry. It helps ,rid your heart of his memories and bad deeds and leave it all to God. It isnt as easy as it sounds but its possible. Don’t give that monster power over your life anymore and that is the best help you could give to yourself. Keep your family and friends very close Darling, talk to somebody, me or anyone else. Don’t stop doing what you love dear.BLOG ,WRITE ,don’t pull your blog down. Writing has gotten me through the hardest times in my life… You are a beautiful and strong woman and you will get through this. I promise you. So much love your way.

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    • I will consider your words. Thanks for taking the time. I know you are right about forgiving, and not letting them have that power any longer. I really needed you to remind me. Thank you for you kindness. I know there’s hope because of you. You helped me feel less alone and granted me some peace.
      Much love to you.
      kj

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    • one more thing… I know you went through a lot too, and that you are able to express it so bravely so that others can heal is really important work. You are a good writer and your sincerity and honesty is a blessing to me. I admire your inner fortitude and resilience and courage. I am so glad I found your blog.

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    • Hi! I always liked this song… and I thought you might appreciate it… it’s called all is forgiven:

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  13. Hi again. Don’t mean to bother you… and I sat with it, you know… but I can’t be forgiving. Something needs to come first… I dunno what it is. But it’s not up to me to forgive. That’s not my job… I know it’s about letting go and not allowing power over me, but I don’t forgive my rapists or molester. Maybe that’s for God to do. Not me. I don’t have that kind of grace and I don’t want it. But I thank you for everything.
    You really helped when I needed it.

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