TRAPPED?

“The grave yard is full of women who were told, ” just hold on he might change” “give him another chance”

The story below has been shared with the consent of those involved.

A few days ago, while in town running some few errands for my mum I ran into an old friend, a childhood friend.She is one hell of a talker so she went right into it,the village gossip and as she was talking,I noticed some bruises on her lower chin and neck. It was like she had been scratched by something,most probably nails,human nails just in case you are wondering. They were very conspicuous and her being a light skin didn’t help the situation. It really bothered me and for a minute there,I wanted to let it slide and just mind my own business, but no, I had to ask her and I did.

I asked her what had happened,and she answered me in Swahili, ” si ni chali yangu ndio alinipiga.” meaning,”its my boyfriend who did this to me.” I was surprised,and you know,she said it so casually,like it was a normal/usual thing and this shocked me even more. I asked her why she can’t walk out of the relationship and she told me something that has kept me thinking for quite some time.

“DONT TELL ME HOW EASY IT IS TO WALK OUT OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IF YOUVE NEVER BEEN IN ONE..…” These were her exact words.

Now, can someone in an abusive relationship just wake up one day and decide to leave? I don’t think it’s easy at all. When you are outside looking in, it seems so easy and that’s why every time we see a friend,a neighbour or even a colleague in an abusive relationship, the first thing we ask is ,”CANT SHE JUST LEAVE? CANT SHE JUST WALK AWAY AND LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND” Well, its not as easy as that,not even close. Ever thought that maybe they want to leave but they just cant?

Before we go any further let me clarify something. When i say abusive relationship, I’m not only referring to the physical abuse but also to verbal and emotional abuse because they are just as damaging. I mean,just because a person doesn’t put hands on you, that doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive. Abuse is control, blatant disrespect and also hurtful words. Don’t settle for emotional abuse thinking it’s ok because it’s not physical.

I think my friends words about leaving abusive relationships have made me look at this issue in a very different perspective and I think I kind of have an idea as to why people stay longer than they should in such relationships, and why it’s so hard to just wake up and leave. First,it’s really heartbreaking when someone you love and who claims to love you in equal measure disrespects you to the extent of laying a hand on you, insulting you and,or blackmailing you emotionally. This is the worst kind of betrayal. It hurts to watch something you love transform into something you should hate. Most victims just sit there in denial and wait for it to return to its original state as they ignore the fact that maybe their abuser will never change.

By the time the victim realizes that their abuser will never change, its always too late and at this point,the damage is already done. Ones self esteem,self confidence and self love is totally shuttered such that leaving becomes almost impossible and one finds himself/herself trapped in a web of abuse. The victim feels worthless, and afraid that if they leave the “relationship”, no one else would want or love them. It then becomes easier for the abuser to control and manipulate them because he/she knows they wont leave.We have all seen or heard what abusive relationships can do to someone. To be honest, I used to think that people in abusive relationships stayed because they wanted to but now I know it’s not their fault that they are trapped.

I just want to reach out to anyone out there who is stuck in an abusive relationship and trying to figure out how to break free. I know it is soo hard,,,I cant even begin to imagine or pretend to know how hard it is, BUT it is not impossible. Sometimes we refuse to see how bad something is until it completely destroys us. Please stop telling yourself that you can fix him. You can never save someone by letting them destroy you. Save yourself instead and get out while there is still time. It’s better to break your own heart by leaving an abusive relationship rather than having that person break your heart everyday.

Darling,you are allowed to terminate toxic/abusive relationships. You are allowed to walk away and take care of yourself. Welcome to the rest of your life and hopefully your next one will treat you a million times better. Sending so much love your way right now.

Ever been in an abusive relationship? Lets share in the comments.

Randomthoughts❤

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HONEY, LOVE YOURSELF FIRST..

“You see you had a lot of crooks try to steal your heart, Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out how to love. See you had a lot of moments that didnt last forever. Now you in this corner tryna put it together ,how to love. “

LIL WAYNE

Listened to this song again,‘HOW TO LOVE” by LIL WAYNE today and it got me thinking why we have so many years of education and yet nobody ever taught us how to love ourselves and why it’s so important. Ever thought about that? Maybe it is just not in society’s best interest to teach us to love ourselves but rather to tell us what we deserve. This is because when we start to love ourselves we would know that we deserve more and would advocate for better. We wouldn’t put up with abusive relationships, toxic friends who constantly put us down and please allow me to throw trashy TV shows and over cooked spinach in there. When we learn to love ourselves, we become fearless individuals but no, society doesn’t need that. All it needs is a people who are broken from the inside and fit into the system without making trouble.

Personally, I never learned how to love myself at an early age and I wish I did. To be honest I suffered from low self esteem for a very long time. I just didn’t think I was good enough,smart or pretty enough. I constantly wanted to be like other people. This caused a strain on both my personal and social life. I had myself convinced that if I had a solid group of best friends and a boyfriend then I was worth something. I ended up attracting toxic friends and abusive men in my life who preyed on my insecurities. All this broke me and it made me think that I didnt deserve to be treated right.

It took me 5 years to learn that I have to be the one to love myself and to really understand the importance of it. I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for someone to teach me. I had to do it myself by putting myself first ,my happiness,goals and dreams before anything else. I became more confident in my body, skin and colour and trust me,things got better and my life got on track again.

DON’T EVER PUT YOURSELF DOWN AND NEVER EVER LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN. You are beautiful just the way you are and believe me that body is perfect. I know how hard it is to feel confident and good enough but it is possible. No one can love you better than you darling and no one is ever going to teach you that. You’ll have to do it yourself. There is nothing better than a man or woman who walks with confidence knowing that they are good enough and that they deserve the very best life has to offer.what if you simply devoted this year to loving yourself more?

Ever struggled with Self esteem issues? Let’s share in the comment section.

Randomthoughts ❤

TWO LEFT FEET..

There are certain things in this world that i am good at. Hell,even great at. I am a good cook. I like to think I’m alright at putting outfits together. I can paint my nails really well and i don’t even care if that doesn’t count because MAN ALIVE have i seen some car-crash manicures in my time.

One thing i am totally,utterly and unbelievably terrible at is dancing. I have two left feet. It’s kind of strange because almost everyone in my family can dance and most of my close friends have really good moves.Many people have tried to teach me some few moves,most recently my younger brother but I just don’t get it. I have no rhythm ,I literally just do step-and-jump. This has earned me a nickname “stiff Trizah” Dancing is so hard, like how do y’all even do that? Sorcery? Most people never believe me when i tell them that i can’t dance,because I apparently “look like I can dance” well,at least I have “the look”right?

It gets awkward when I attend social events and most especially in clubs. When everyone is busy dancing,you know,dropping and picking it (get it? ) I am always just there,and on my phone. But when I have a drink ,something magical/terrible happens. A friend of mine once took a video of me dancing in the club and showed it to me later on when I was sober. *sighs* It was crazy. Picture this; All my limbs want to extend at right angles and windmill around,much to the detriment of anyone in the vicinity. My hands go mental. I am punching the air and kicking my legs out and not GIVING A HOOT. In the video,everyone was just staring at me like I was demented. It was then that I realized that I committed crimes against dancing.

I refuse to think that maybe i am ‘BEAT DEAF’, a brand new disability which can be defined as the inability to coordinate your movement with something or a beat you hear. Scientists do believe that it’s the reason why some of us can’t really dance. They say we all have a little dancer in us ,but mine is a really,really tiny one.Anyway, I’ve been thinking about taking dance classes, especially salsa and tango. I’ll give it a shot ,this girl ain’t going down without a fight.

So,are you a bad dancer like me? Or,is there something you are really terrible at but you are willing to learn? Lets share in the comments.

Randomthoughts❤

HAPPILY NEVER AFTER?

Hallo my lovely readers, Before we get into today’s topic,allow me to pass a message to someone,or to some people,just in case it’s a cavern of witches.

SOO,WHOEVER DID VOODOO ON MY LOVE LIFE CAN CHILL NOW.I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON!!

There,,we can now go on. When most people say their love life sucks,they say it with a disappointed or self deprecating tone. Consider my tone matter-of-fact. It is what it is;my love life is a hot mess.

As a little girl, i loved watching animated fairy tales like Cinderella and Rapunzel. I mean,who didn’t? Cinderella was my favourite,especially the part where Prince charming brings Cinderella her glass slipper and turns her into a princess, then the white wedding at the end signaling that peak happiness has now been reached,the oh-so-sought-after happily ever after. I grew up believing that love is ‘a prince charming coming in one day to swoop me off my feet .’

For some reason, the search for “prince charming” started very young for me personally. Even at age 13-14 ,I believed that I would find that man that i was going to marry,and boy was i determined. I even made plans you know. We would tour the world together,especially France and wed take a picture at the Eiffel tower(seriously, ain’t even playing with this Eiffel thing). Anyway, I went through several relationships,starting at age 13 and going until now and i have learned an endless amount of things from them. Above all,I have learned that the “prince charming” I have dreamt about my whole life will never come.

I have been cheated and walked out on and ooh, I have also been the heartbreaker and the nightmare girlfriend. I’ve come into terms with the fact that our lives are not a movie or a perfect love story. I have realized that I will not meet a man without flaws,and one who kisses the ground i walk on. I really used to think that happily ever after was a thing, BUT now i know it only happens in fairy tales. I BADLY WANT TO BELIEVE in soulmates, true love and forever but i don’t because everyday the world makes me see that those things MAY not be real.

Let me make one thing clear though. Love and dating may not be exactly what i had dreamed of as a little girl,I may not find Prince charming or the Knight in shining armour, BUT , the Eiffel thing is so happening.

Do you believe in soulmates, fairy tales and happy endings? Let us share in the comments…

Randomthoughts❤

THE SLEEPOVER…

Hallo my lovely readers,

TRUTH: I had my first sleepover with a dude after i joined campus,and honestly? It was equal parts of exciting and awkward.

For all of my childhood/teenage life, i never hosted or attended any sleepovers. My parents were super strict and the only place i was allowed to spend a night away from home was at my grandparents place. Does that count as a sleepover? Am not so sure.

So this guy and i had been on a few dates and he one day asked me if i could sleepover. I wasn’t so sure about it,i mean,I was no where near ready to be seen looking like a ‘hot mess’ in front of him. I am not one of those girls who wakes up with great hair and cute sleepy eyes.(Is anyone? Please say no). The whole idea of sleeping over at his place freaked me out. Sure, i wanted to try it,but what if I snored?(and i think i do because my roommate says so), what if i talked in my sleep or,even worse OMG ,what if i was a sleepwalker? Anyway,I knew i couldn’t keep running away from my fears,plus,I was totally into him so i agreed to sleepover at his place.

When i got there,i was really nervous but he tried his level best to make me as comfortable as possible. By the way, I am a very shy girl and things can get really awkward on my part. Do you know that i couldn’t even eat well because i was afraid that he would maybe judge my eating habits. Is that weird? He had cooked my favourite dish and it really bites me to date that i didn’t eat much.

Since i am not an erotic blogger, I’ll skip some details…lol. Once we were ready to go to bed,he offered to give me something to sleep in. I had pictured myself looking sexy in his oversized button down, but i got his college jacket and oversized sweatpants. I am not complaining,it’s just that it wasn’t the look i was going for that night. I attempted to fall asleep and trust me,it wasn’t an easy task. It was kind of awkward because he was a cuddly sleeper but I on the other hand needed at least six inches apart.

At 6am ,i made a trip to the bathroom. Remember that scene in bridesmaid where Kristen wiigs character wakes up and does her makeup, then pretends to have woken up looking perfect? You know,”i woke up like this,FLAWLESS” (I am really hoping and praying that y’all have watched this movie). I did exactly that. I touched up my eyebrows,gargled about 2 cups of mouthwash and even put little lip gloss on,then went back to bed.

But in the morning, i realized that this guy didnt seem to care about how “perfect” i looked. He opened his eyes,smiled and kissed me,aaaww. Then something clicked, he didn’t care if i looked like a mess or barbie,he still liked me the same. I have to admit though,that i did that stupid little routine for at least a month after that first night. But finally, I started feeling more comfortable ,sleeping well and not worrying about what I’ll look like in the morning.

Am curious,how was your first sleepover experience? Lets share in the comments!

Randomthoughts❤

KARMA: IS SHE REALLY A BITCH??

Hallo my lovely readers,

‘What goes around comes back around?’….Not exactly.

Chances are ,you familiar with the saying “Karma is a bitch.” Let me clarify something first, in this context,I am referring to the modern/Western understanding of what Karma is ,you know, the idea that if you do bad things,it comes back to you and if you do good ,good things happen to you. Its a nice idea,right? Its simple and comforting,and I wish it was actually true.

Am sure many people have lost count of the number of times they’ve screamed “Karma is a bitch” to anyone who did them wrong .”what goes around comes back around “,is a phrase that comforts most people when they are in an unfair situation or any other situation in which they have no control. When someone is really hurt by another,he/she hopes and really wants to believe that there is Karma which will avenge on his/her behalf. It feels right. we think that is how the world has to work. The idea of ‘karma’ makes us think that somehow ,all those who hurt us will pay and our struggles will one day be worth it. But do you really think that’s how it works?

Personally,I don’t believe in Karma because I know that the world is not fair and that what goes around ,does not always come back around. If people would take an honest look at the world we live in,that fact would be obvious. Karma doesn’t get everyone .Bad people who thrive on causing pain to others all the time aren’t necessarily “punished” by karma. Good people do good things all the time but they have their fair share of bad things happening to them as well. It rains on both of them .We all know that one shitty and mean person who is very successful ,happy and content with life,and we also know that one kind,humble and generous person who has a very difficult/hard life that we sometimes ask ourselves ,”why them?” That’s how life works,things don’t always balance out.

If Karma was for real, I don’t think we would need jails,lawyers,judges,trials etc because everyone who did something wrong would be punished by the universe. But it just doesn’t work that way,really. So darling ,if you are waiting around for Karma to come and revenge for you,am sorry to burst your bubble but,you might wanna take a seat because it is gonna be a long wait. It’s easier to just Forgive and let it go. Think about it.

Randomthoughts..❤

DATE FROM HELL!

Playing the dating game can be very risky, you know, with all the dating apps people use these days. First dates can be nerve wrecking especially because you never really know who you are about to go out with and if you’ve also heard dating horror stories like the one am about to tell you. See ,I don’t think anyone exists who has not had a good bad date story at some point. I’ve had a fair share of bad dates myself, So grab a strong drink and revel in my misfortune. Laughing is allowed, don’t shy away.

I met this guy online, yes,online, lol. He had hit my inbox,so first I stalked his profile .wait , every girl does this,right? Like when someone in boxes/ DMS you,you first check there profile and from there you know whether or not you’ll reply. Well,I did that, and something caught my eye. He was an advocate, as per his job prescription and his wall was full of political/law/leadership stuff. Well,am studying law so this seemed interesting. I texted back, we exchanged numbers. We started talking and texting then after some time, he asked me out on a date. I agreed, I mean,free food,wine and conversation never killed anyone.

He was to pick me up at 7:30 pm on a Friday ,in his ‘ride’. So at exactly 7:30 pm,he was outside the gate of where I stayed and he calls me. I wasn’t ready though because I was indecisive on what to wear.(girl problems). I told him to give me 15 more minutes of which he agreed. It never occurred to me that it had pissed him off ,that’s until I went down to meet him. He was obviously pissed,it showed all over his face,I mean,he couldn’t even conceal it. I noticed other things too,like,the pictures he had sent me and those on his social media didnt accurately reflect the way he looked.(Hey ,I don’t judge people by the way they look).He was very short so when we hugged,his face went directly into my chest. No problem….. except he wouldn’t let go,he just kept his face there.

We got into the car and drove off. He didnt ask me where I preferred to go because ,apparently, he wanted to take me to this one place off Kiambu road. His driving was so wreck less,I mean REALLY bad. He drove like he was running from the police, then stopped at some place and made me wait in the car for 15 minutes. Mmmh! He comes back,no apology he just starts driving. I was glad when we reached our destination in one piece. It was some club whose name I won’t mention because I have nothing good to say about it. First of all, who takes a girl to a first date in a club. To make matters worse,the DJ was playing filthy music,the place was full of old people, trust me,one could easily confuse it for a home for the elderly, no offense. I just kept cool,or as the millennial say, I ‘maintained’ because I didn’t want to seem rude.

He asked me what i wanted to drink and i said wine . Then he’s like, “why not whisky, you should drink whisky blah blah” ,he insisted and insisted but i stuck to wine. He ordered beers for himself. At some point ,the waitress confused orders and he was very rude. He shouted at her,embarrassing her and created a whole unnecessary scene. I tried to calm him down and he said I reminded him of his mother….like it was a good thing.(rolls eyes” .He was one arrogant man with an ego the size of Russia. He wore dark sunglasses throughout the entire date and talked about himself the entire time. He kept interrupting me ,so rude! Then ,after 20 excruciating minutes of his endless self praise and his love for reptiles ,he starts torturing me with stupid/awkward questions like, ” so,do you like sex?” “Can you have sex on a first date?” like seriously? Ooh ,wait for it,he started being touchy while pretending to be drunk .Dude?! Which man gets drunk after 2 sips of tusker cider, wait, are men even allowed to take Tusker cider. My dear people, I have seen things….’sighs’

At this point ,I was so done with him. I needed to be far more drunk for this shit so I chugged that wine like no one business. I got tipsy, just enough to deal with him. I had lost my patience and I was PISSED, I could no longer maintain. So when he tried to touch me again, I slapped his hand off so hard. I gave him a piece of my mind, I was like “I’ve had enough, I don’t like you ,I don’t like this place and I’m off.” I grabbed my purse, stormed out,(just like in the movies) I called a cab ,left and I’ve never spoken to him again.

Some dates can make you want to be a nun. Am sure some of you have had it worse than me though,,let’s share in the comments!

Randomthoughts ..

RAPE CULTURE: “SHE ASKED FOR IT?”

Dear rapist!

“Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars, Collecting your jar of hearts AND TEARING LIVES APART . You are gonna catch a cold, From the ice inside your soul… ”

Christina Perri.

RAPE, the most intimate of crimes!

Unfortunately, we live in an environment in which rape is prevalent, where this act is normalized and excused. We live in a society that teaches kids “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape.” We have justified the act of rape and we blame the victims with disgraceful statements like “SHE/HE ASKED FOR IT!! ” This statement is ridiculous and it’s messed up in all the levels!

I was once told that I couldn’t wear an outfit because it was “too provocative” and that “I would be asking for rape” With ideas like this being spoken/thought, I think it’s time to have……. THE TALK. This huge “clothes cause rape” elephant has been in the living room of society for far too long; and I know it’s an extremely uncomfortable subject, but we need to discuss it. Our society has a tendency to blame the victim because she dressed a certain way. We live in a “she is asking for it” culture. It’s very wicked, wrong, evil, misguided, pickle minded, messed up(name them) to pin rape on the victim, no matter what she wore. Dressing in a sexy or a short dress is NOT consent!

I mean, it’s troubling enough that such a small proportion of reported rapes make it to court, worse still, that so few victims come forward in the first place, and nooow, we just have to make it worse by blaming the victims instead of the perpetrators… WOOW!

Let’s take this for instance, If 6 men had beaten up an 11 year old girl, the only question anyone would be asking is how quickly can we lock the Shimo la tewa prison door and throw away the keys into the Indian Ocean… BUT IF the 6 men were to rape the 11 year old, then apparently, we have to ask several questions like: “was she asking for it? ” “Was she acting in a provocative manner? ” Really????? Newsflash: she’s a child and as such cannot ask for “IT” EVER!!

It’s sad that stealing money/chicken is considered a more serious crime than stealing a child’s innocence? And you know, it’s just more that, because if you steal a girls innocence, you’ve stolen her future and killed who she would have been one day…

In a slam poem, performed by Anna Binkovitz, she calls out the rape culture and the tendency to blame rape victims. She says,,

“STOP ASKING PEOPLE’S CLOTHING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, AND START ASKING THE PEOPLE. “

We as a society can make a change, we could be more sympathetic, more caring. Rape is not a joke, it’s worse than death because the victims have to deal with the pain and humiliation for as long as they are alive. We could help them out, we could try to understand, try not to blame them because its not their fault. Hold a sister’s hand today, console her and trust me, you never know the scars a single tender touch can heal. Touch a life today!

Random thoughts.. ❤

‘LET’S TALK: ONE NIGHT STANDS.. ‘

There’s no denying that 2018 has so far been a great year for women. Just look at how feminism took over mainstream media, with feminists like Adelle Onyango spearheading the conversations. But even so, let’s be real. We’ve still got a long way to go, especially with some of the impossible double standards women face on a daily basis. I know that guys have it tough in some areas too, but when it comes to attracting judgement for inane things on the regular, women take the crown.

STORY TIME!

Why am I bringing this up? Well a week ago, my friends ‘both male and female’ and I had a get together. You know, just chilling, having a couple of drinks, ok more than a couple and talking. Am sure y’all know how these conversations people have after two glasses of wine are. Hehe, they are always very good ,fun and intelligent,, you know, too much English flowing here and there. I live for these conversations, honestly. People are honest and blunt, no sugar coating and even the silent ones always have something to say. ‘Mbozi za malwa’

So an interesting conversation came up;SEX TALK! The main issue being discussed was ‘One Night Stands. ‘ and apparently, all the guys (our bros) had an issue with one Night stands. What am I saying? No no, let me rephrase that, they didn’t have an issue with one Night stands in its entirety, they just had a problem with women/ladies having one night stands. One of them actually said it was perfectly normal for men to have one night stands, but not for women. It didn’t sit right with me. It was a double standard,and the only thing I hate more than doubles standards,is well,double standards! Get it? This conversation was heated, I tell you.

You know, if a man has a one night stand he celebrates his victory and receives numerous high fives from friends, you might actually think he has won a ‘Nobel peace price Why can’t the ladies receive the high fives too? It seems that a woman celebrating her one night stand instead of crying or hiding her face in shame, is ‘SOCIALLY AWKWARD ” BUT what if we want to have a one night stand and brag about it the next day just like the bros? How can we do this without harsh judgement? In truth, we can’t, because “it will be going outside of social norms” and that will always bring persecution from somewhere.

In my opinion, It is time that we as a generation dispose of this hypocritical double standard. If ‘one night stands are wrong, let the sword cut both edges, not just on the feminine side. But if they are socially acceptable, let everyone enjoy without attracting any harsh judgement. The next time you hear a female sharing her story of a crazy one night stand, toss her a high five, a fist bump or whatever, and go on with your life.

Am sure by now y’all know where I stand as far as this topic is concerned. Am really looking forward to reading your opinions in the comment section!

Trizahsrandomthoughts 😘….

‘BEYOND THE WALLS..’

Hallo my lovely readers,

Brace yourself to encounter the toughness with which colonialists treated Kenyans if you get arrested and detained any time soon, because the country’s justice system has been found to have numerous facilities that have been in existence for more than a century, and with features that have never changed from 1900s. If for Instance, you are detained at the NAIROBI REMAND AND ALLOCATION PRISON, you will be inside a building completed in 1911! By the way, the fire in the prisons kitchen was first lit in 1911,and it has never gone off till today! Anyway, let me tell you exactly how I found out all of these.

So two days ago, our class had an academic trip to Industrial Area Remand and Allocation Prison. We were really excited because most of us had never really been inside a prison, the only thing we knew about the inside of prisons was what we’d seen in movies. Remember ‘prison break ‘? Personally, I didn’t even know where Industrial area is. I had imagined it as a small prison for petty offenders waiting in remand for there cases to be passed. The picture in my mind was a tiny snippet of reality that was I.A.R.P.

Upon initial entry into the prison compound, everything looked ‘business as usual’, warm welcome by the officer-in-charge, well maintained administration buildings, a few prisoners doing small odd-jobs, prison wardens clustering in two’s and threes chit-chatting….. nothing strange. A warden told us to leave all our belongings in the bus. The guys were told to show their ID cards before entry, but we ladies were given a free pass. An old mahogany ever-locked door with a huge iron knocker ushers the visitors into the heavily secured jail house.We then were assigned three prison wardens who would escort us into the said prison, on top of that, our lecturer told the ladies to find a “male partner” to walk with hand in hand for security purposes.

All along I was thinking that all these security procedures were overboard but my thoughts were interrupted when the wardens led us through a dark corridor, followed by mighty high walls with a small gate. Even the atmosphere changed. Sunshine and glee now turned dark and gloomy. Once we went through the gate, I saw hundreds of young men caged in open areas. NO smiles, hardened faces, cold stares, Soul-less bodies, crushed spirits in a place where time seemed to have stopped. I could only imagine the reasons that brought them to prison and for how long they had been locked up, detached from the rest of the world. My mind started racing. I suddenly became scared and frightened. I was literally shaking. Not that I was scared of the prisoners, but just because of the mood and atmosphere in that place. You needed to be there to get what I am trying to say.

We then arrived at another open space where hundreds of prisoners had sat on blankets that they had lain on the concrete ground in the blazing hot sun. A few were in handcuffs, others looked demented, others of Asian decent. It was such a mix of people.We got to have a one on one session with the prisoners and the guards. We found out that the prison population was currently over 2900 men, and some had been locked up for as long as 10 years. 10 YEARS? Would they even know the way back home given the way the roads have changed over the last 10 years? I didn’t understand how someone’s case could take more than 8years to be finalized. It doesn’t make sense. This just shows how rotten our justice system is. The prisoners complained that they were not able to get to the courts, especially, those whose cases were to be heard in ‘Kikuyu Law Courts‘, and this was because of “lack of transport!” I remember the Kikuyu law courts Chief magistrate telling them that they couldn’t get to the court because the transportation truck had broken down and they didn’t have funds to fix it!! SERIOUSLY????! This is the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Most petty offenders have been remanded for years in I.A.R.P just because there is no means of transportation to get them to the courts.

The detainees were outrightly being denied their Justice. They also complained about the limitations on them speaking with their lawyers. Most of them actually told us how they do not have faith in the lawyers given to them by the state, because of their shoddy work and careless attitude. But what options do they have? They are just poor citizens who can’t even afford a lawyer. So many sad stories. This people have lost all hope in life, and hope is the last thing anyone should ever lose. To them, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, just more darkness. Despite the encouraging news about improved conditions, Kenyan prisons still have a long way to go. The Nairobi remand is highly congested, and we did get a glance at the kind of food they eat, and it’s pathetic, with lack of a better term. The late NELSON MANDELA once observed that: “NO ONE TRULY KNOWS A NATION UNTIL ONE HAS BEEN INSIDE ITS JAILS.”

By the time we were leaving the prison, my heart was so heavy because of the thousands of young men who were in prison. These were young men who if mentored in the right ways, would not have turned to crime. With freedom comes responsibility. Take the initiative and be your brothers keeper. Life in prison is HARD, trust me on this. Invest in a young man and mentor him in the Gods ways. Safer communities begin with you and me.

🙏🙏